Whether it be budget cuts, additional workload, staff cuts or a myriad of other concerns we are subjected to at work, emotions can be stretched and even the most placid of people can lose the plot occasionally.
Unlike positive emotions that throw out the feel good endorphins, frustration hits the core and can bring us down if we do not manage it.
Coaching always looks for the positive in any situation and helps clients find them. That said, here we look to some of the techniques to help turn those negativities 180 degrees and find a more productive way forward of thinking.
To begin, what are the main negative emotions that hit us?
ANGER is one of the most destructive of our negative emotions and ultimate takes our own self-control away. In work, this can make you appear most unprofessional and does not put us in the best light especially if redundancies or promotion raises its head.
- When it begins to rise – Cease what you are doing and breathe. Yes, it’s as simple as that. In my martial arts and yoga, it’s a great de-stressing tool as you breathe in for 4-5 seconds and out to the same count. Concentrate on this to over-ride the negative emotion.
- Know the signs – we are aware of our own trigger signs that cause us to be angry. Understand them, recognise them and then know when they appear. From here, you then have a choice on whether you control it or let it take control.
- View from the outside – an NLP trick is to transport yourself out of your own body and look at your behaviour from an external point of view which gives you a better perspective. Next time the anger starts to rise, step back and imagine how you will inevitably behave as if watching yourself from a short distance away. Change this picture by taking control.
FRUSTRATION occurs all too often when we feel trapped or blocked from moving forward. Before allowing the negative impact to hit you, consider the following:
- Look back – Reflect back on another time where you felt frustrated and consider how it was resolved. Frequently they never end up as bad as anticipated so take that on board in the next situation.
- Stop and assess – Usually we plough straight into a situation and reap the negative fallout. Before you do this, use the previous NLP technique and mentally step away. Then seek the positive elements of the given situation, look hard as there will be some.
WORRY can hit us from many directions. Whether it be staff reductions or loss of a contract, worry affects our mental wellbeing. It can stop us from taking those risks we would normally take and certainly impact our productivity levels. That’s the visual aspects and doesn’t even start to look at how mentally it affects us with stress.
- Focus on improvement – whatever the worst situation befalls you, the sad news is it will happen regardless so no good will come from dwelling on it. Nearly 10yr ago I got cancer. It was bad and nearly beat me but here I am more motivated and positive and refuse to let it worry me that it may (or may not) return, if it does, then so be it. Rather than concentrating on the negative, look at how you can improve your situation even if it does mean taking risks.
- Schedule your worries to another time – Seema a weird thing to say but in time-management, we learn to schedule tasks in so why not look at whatever ails you and book a future time to deal with it. Although it won’t go away, it means you don’t have to worry about it now as you give yourself permission to deal with it later.
- Remove yourself from the fallout – By this I mean if there is bad news circulating around the office, avoid the gossipmongers as all they will do is fuel the fire of despair. Seek those who are more positive even in a crisis and feed off the positive vibes
Whichever way you look at it, it is a mindset and one that is difficult to change if you are already in the middle of a situation. Nonetheless, it is not unsurmountable and taking small steps can help you move in a more positive frame of mind.
Others may influence you but ultimately the choice, yes there is a choice, is yours to make and own. The difficulty is having the ability to see it or finding the support to see you through it.
At Coaching to Success, we offer individuals who are struggling to find the positive path and businesses dealing with bad news to help overcome the negative and move towards the positive light.
If this is something that you would like to discuss further, please contact Neil on 07761 187238 or email firstname.lastname@example.org where you’ll be assured a warm welcome to discuss how we can help. You’ll get a better understanding of Neil too by watching our interview video at https://youtu.be/RvCwOL4hPc