Whether it be others or the simple state of economy and job security, all too often I’m finding people uncertain about taking a risk or simply making a decision. Which has taken an effect on both morale and confidence so how can we turn this feeling around?
What are the signs? Consider the following:
- Making excuses or giving a reason for actions taken. Sometimes aligned to being self-conscious which in its own turn can contribute to self-doubt.
- Being antagonistic when replying to criticism! Productive criticism, can actually boost one’s confidence if you refrain from taking it as a personal slant against you.
- Body language! Crossed arms and legs, stand offish posture. Much along the lines of being over defensive in verbal and physical positioning.
- Wanting things 100% as opposed to settling for anything less. If we believe that this is the only acceptable level, we set ourselves up to fail and reduce our own levels of confidence.
Now let us start the positive side towards self-confidence:
GET A NOTEBOOK: Record all good things that you manage to accomplish. By writing down everything that you do well at work or home, you will start to gain a decent level of self-confidence. Whenever you feel uncertain, open this notebook to read your evidence based notes.
BODY LANGUAGE: Consider your posture! For example, if slumped, raise eyes forward, back straight, keep your head high.
SET GOALS: If you do not have goals, then how do you know which direction you are heading? Set goals in every area of your life. Every area! Work, personal, social life, health and fitness, and everything else that is important to you. Set goals that are very clear and have a deadline. Make them SMART (Specific-Measurable-Achievable-Relevant-Timely) too.
EXPAND: One of the simplest confidence building exercises is to expand one’s knowledge area. Try to find areas that you need at work or home and become better at these. Once you start improving in the areas that you need, you will also gain self-esteem and confidence in your own abilities to make positive decisions. The more you know the better you will feel. Get out of your cozy comfort zone and move to build your confidence! It’s not hard to regularly read a couple of pages from a coaching blog, watch videos or Listen to audios. Surround yourself with what you want to learn and you will become a true expert in time. With competence, comes confidence
COMPLIMENT YOURSELF: Have you ever complimented yourself on a daily basis? Talk to others about the great things you have achieved today, this week, in the past. Say things like: “I am truly amazing! Just to think of how fast I solved that problem!”, “Wow, Fred came to me to help him as he knew I could help and I did”
EXERCISE AT WORK: You will have noticed areas you do better than others. Maybe others tell you that you have a special something about what you do? Admit to yourself that you can do this better than others and commit to becoming even better at it. Read books on the subjects, talk to experts in this field. Get to know it and be seen as the go-to person.
THE MINDSET: Become a person that rarely says “No”, “I can’t do this”, “Have to”, “Must”, “I’ll do it later”. These words are toxic for your self-confidence. Use strong, motivating words like “I will do this”, “I am doing it”, “Sure”, “Yes”, “Of course I can do it”, “I can”.
SELF-HYPNOSIS: Repeat positive affirmations. Search or create your own such as this one for the beginning of the day
“I feel amazing! I am certain that today will be one of those days that I will remember for a long time! I feel self-confident and sure that I will do great things! I am a person who does things! I am a winner!”
Make sure that you outwardly verbalise when awakening as this is when we are most receptive or, in the past tense when we are ready to sleep and let the subconscious absorb.
Self-confidence will not happen overnight. There are many factors to take into consideration, the biggest being yourself! How much do you won’t to change? How much effort will you put into the process? How much can you believe in yourself to accomplish this?
It is not a simple journey either, otherwise you would have done this some time ago and support can also be lacking. Should this be the case for yourself or someone you know, take the first step by contacting Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk, where you will be assured a warm, friendly welcome and the chance to discuss ways we can work together along with the motivation to build that confidence to an all-time high.
Having read this and got this far, why not check out Neil too by watching our YouTube video HERE.
