Is confidence natural or developed?

Is confidence about being born with the right gene or is it cultivated?

Confidence emerges from accomplishment with a belief in one’s capabilities, so is really nurture over nature and depending on how we develop, our confidence levels will be affected. It is also related to the symptoms of feelings when dealing with challenges whether personal or work related.

It’s also about judgement of how you feel others perceive you. This is not to say that you shouldn’t give a …., but more about not allowing other’s views effecting your own judgement about yourself.

As an example, I was with a client before Christmas in a high street coffee shop. We discussed confidence levels talking with regards speaking to strangers and if in a group of unknowns, how they felt. After they expressed their thoughts, I wished to prove a point about how we shouldn’t be fearful of what others may think of us. So, to demonstrate this, I stood up in the middle of a busy shop and asked for everyone’s attention, then simply wished them a Happy Christmas and a fantastic weekend, then sat down.

I daresay this caused conversations in the shop and well beyond but it proved a point that nothing negative happened to me and that I couldn’t control others views of me of which there would be a variety of, so best to let those thoughts go.

But how do we look about boosting our own levels? There are generally 9 exercises but here are 6 to help you on your way:

  1. BREATHE: When you are nervous or preparing for a big event, breathe evenly until you calm down.
  2. GET A NOTEBOOK: Record the good things that you manage to do. Whenever self-doubt creeps in, or you feel down, open this notebook and start reading it.
  3. BODY LANGUAGE: When feeling low, look at your posture. Change it to look up and forward with your back straight, keep your head high.
  4. SET GOALS: If you do not have goals in your life then you do not know where you are going. Set goals in every area of your life. Set goals that are very clear and have a certain deadline on them.
  5. COMPLIMENT YOURSELF: Talk about the great things you did in the past, this week, today. Say things like: “I am truly amazing! Just to think of how fast I solved that problem!”, “Wow, Fred came to me to help him as he knew I could help and I did”
  6. EXERCISE AT WORK: Notice the things that you do better than others. Find these things, then, admit to yourself that you accomplish these better than others, commit to becoming even better on it. Read books, talk to people in the know, become an expert.

There are many ways we can help boost the confidence levels but these are some good starters to kick off with.

Whether they be areas of personal or work related issues around confidence, contact Neil for a coffee meet (I promise I’ll try to refrain from standing on the table!) either by mail at neil.nutburn@coachingtosuccess.co.uk or direct via phone 07761 187238. Our business is Your success, let us help you grow in confidence to reach up to your own personal goals of achievement.