Sometimes our belief in being able to perform a certain task or achieve an objective can be influenced either negatively or positively. For those with a self-belief, the chances of obtaining that outcome is greatly increased, however, situations throughout our lives can have a massive bearing on us.
As an adolescent, I was told I would have to do an office job, that I would be unable to take up sport seriously, that I would be unable to do manual work! Why? Because I have type1 diabetes.
As I progressed towards the end of my teens, I began to question this ‘sound advice’ from those more knowledgeable (apparently) and took up martial arts by means of doing some exercise … and this is where I found that good advice was unfounded!
I trained hard. Minimum 3 times a week. Sessions lasting in excess of 2.5hrs and when I achieved Black Belt, trained harder still to maintain that level and I still train now (but maybe not to the same degree!).
So what has this got to do with this feature? My beliefs were being moulded by THEIR beliefs in MY capabilities. So I challenged and created my OWN beliefs and that was that having Diabetes would not stop me from being active!
Find out how negative and positive external influences have on you by carrying out some interesting exercises.
FIRST – Create 2 lists. The first being all the positive beliefs you have about yourself. The second with any negative.
SECOND – Look at every item in each category. Spend some time assessing and writing down the positive and negative things that have happened to create these beliefs.
THIRD – Take the top three ‘Negative’ beliefs and ask yourself
- Where did this belief originate?
- What effect is this belief having on me?
- What will the long term consequence be to remain holding onto it?
- Who provided me this belief?
- Is this person always right? Do you respect them?
- How would life be if you were to let go of it?
FORTH – Re-write the negative belief as a positive affirmation. (eg: “I am too old to change my job” to “The knowledge and expertise I will bring to a new employer can only be gained from the wealth of knowledge learned”
FIFTH – Focus your attention on 3-5 people who appear a positive influence on you and another 3-5 negative ones. Ask yourself these questions about each in their outlook:
- What do they say and how do they relay it?
- What actions portray them as positive?
SIXTH – What ‘Empowering’ beliefs do people hold? Make a list.
SEVENTH – What ‘Dis-empowering’ beliefs do people hold? Make a list.
EIGHTH – Create 6 sentences all beginning “I can’t..”
NINTH – Against each, ask yourself “What’s stopping me?”
TENTH – Against each, compile a list of things you can do to turn this into positive actions.
All too often our progress is hindered by our own negative beliefs. Those that know me will be familiar with my phrase “Evidence based” meaning that just because we believe in something, it doesn’t mean it’s a fact. Look at the evidence.
THINK positive. BE positive.
At Coaching to Success, we truly believe (and it’s evidence based) that our clients are capable of more than they think they can achieve so if you’re looking to move forward and break some of those beliefs that hold you back, contact Neil either by mail at firstname.lastname@example.org or direct via phone 07761 187238. Our business is Your success, let us help you move on re-affirmed positive beliefs.