Change is a necessity in our lives but how do we handle those we didn’t wish for?

Often the pleasant things that change go un-noticed while those which go against what we’ve been used to can cause fear or trepidation. Consequently, if you are in the throes of change that is out of your direct control, rather than rebel, look at it from a positive manner, adjusting your own preconceptions as to how it may work out.

To begin, actually adjust your thinking

  • Reframe – Look to encourage new experiences to get you out of the ‘Norm’ rather than the ‘How will it affect me’ in a negative sense. Give it some positive meaning.
  • Process orientated – Are you a ‘Great British Bake Off’ or cooking program fan? Well think of change like baking! Stick with me on this … whether it be bread or cakes, there are many ingredients and steps to ultimately produce the wonderful results. It takes time and patience. Change is no different, it needs to be worked through. No ‘Knead’ for any other analogies here!

Okay, now that’s set the way of thinking, let’s move on to territories we experience in change.

  1. Change is inevitable – Changes occur frequently throughout the day and we handle them without a thought. A pen and it runs out, we change to another without thought, a minor change. You see a building site going up, a major change now for those working there and the soon to be new residents It doesn’t affect you, nonetheless, accept change happens.
  2. Change is just learning! – So it’s something you’re not familiar with? Think of some major but pleasurable changes you’ve undertaken. It was all new to begin but now you’ve probably settled into it quite well. A little like driving, the first responsibilities at a new job etc. Enjoy new experiences through wanting to learn rather than fearing the unknown.
  3. Address your feelings – Especially when you have no choice. Try avoiding the victim approach of “This isn’t fair, why me?” If it’s out of your control, the decision has been made so start searching for the positive elements. This will be hard to begin but with enough practice, you’ll search the more comfortable way of travelling your new direction. Positive thinking assists in building bridges or opportunities!
  4. Opportunity – welcome change as such. You’ll spend less time fighting it and while you’re searching, write down the positive experiences you’ve found that will open these doors to opportunity.
  5. Notice enjoyable changes! – consider all the areas where positive outcomes can be found in change. When was the last upgrade of your mobile? How many new great features does your new phone now offer. Think of how we used to listen to music and how portable it now is! These are enjoyable changes but even so, they are changes!
  6. S.M.A.R.T. Goals – Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant & Time-bound. My clients will tell you how important I believe this to be. “A dream is a dream but a goal has a time limit!” Create an accurate goal with start, middle and finish. Each component having clear settings with time against each and the most important thing is to establish when you will START and not when to be done BY!

One of the biggest helps is your ability to find a supportive network. Whether this be in your workplace, home, family or friends, look to someone who may have had similar experiences and how they overcame their initial concerns.

Coaching to Success understands change is inevitable. As George Bernard Shaw put it “Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” And this is where we specialise, in helping you find new paths and then embracing them as you do.

With the change of mind-set, you can achieve almost anything and for those really difficult situations, contact Neil by email or call 07761 187238 where you’ll be assured a warm welcome to discuss how we can help.

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